If you know me, you’ve likely noticed that I often take a good while to respond to a question or comment during a conversation. Allow me to explain why this is. An answer usually pops into my head right away. If it does, I analyze its validity. I question whether it is sound. I consider if it is appropriate and relevant, and I inspect its background. I think about if it is based on facts or emotions. I question why it popped into my head, how I came up with it, where I may have gotten it from. Finally, I determine whether I truly believe in it. If at any point I decide that this answer does not meet up to these standards, then I dismiss it. In this case my response takes even longer to formulate because I must start the process over again, searching through possible answers until I find one that meets the standards. After I have unearthed my response, I then consider how to present it. Can it be given unembellished? Or does it require certain tact? This largely depends on the topic of conversation and the other person and my relationship to them.
I find that this process usually only takes a few seconds. Maybe ten seconds at the most. But I have noticed that this amount of wait time sometimes makes people feel uncomfortable. They perhaps think I am slow, or that I am distracted. Rest assured, you have my full attention. Well, as much as I can give you when my mind is in constant overdrive. However, I believe it is better to take the extra time than to say something that is not thought out. Doing so could cause harm or folly.
On the other hand, I have been told that I have a quick and sharp wit. My dry sense of humor involves cutting remarks and sarcasm. This does indeed seem to be at odds with my practice of answering serious queries with much thought. I know not why or how I can possess both traits; perhaps they are two sides of the same coin. Nor can I say whether either is good or bad. I only seek to explain the reasoning behind my behaviors in the pursuit of healthy communication.
Do you possess similar traits or practice these behaviors?
Do you think society values the contributions of those who think before they speak?
Does a sharp wit do more harm than good?
I am interested in your thoughts on these matters, reader.